It’s easy to see that this gratitude challenge greatly values friends: there are three entire weeks dedicated to this topic! As I’m writing this, however, I somehow feel stumped about whom to dedicate this post to. How could I possibly choose from the many beautiful people that has touched my life? I’m not going to choose… Continue reading Week 7: A friend (part 1)
I’m not gonna lie, not too long ago I had absolutely no idea how to help someone going through a depressive episode. I’ve made more than a few mistakes, made things worse at times, and spent more time not knowing what to do than actually helping. After being on both the giving and receiving end,… Continue reading Supporting your friend with depression
I’ve had this person on my mind for this post for days! My little sister. I say little, but to my annoyance she’s been taller than me for years; the gap between our heights is only increasing. As the picture sort of hinted, she’s a budding photographer. She’s got a gift for most things artistic,… Continue reading Week 4: A family member
A few weeks ago I showed this blog to my boyfriend. He was, um, indignant that he didn’t make it into many of the posts (as in: he threatened to make me walk the couple of hours’ journey home that day). I would like to use this moment to revise my earlier post Lifeline to say… Continue reading How to date a medic
Another major “gratitude” topic. Having been born in Indonesia but having spent more of my life in the UK, it’s not surprising that daily life is a beautiful collision of traditions and backgrounds. Sometimes it’s a pain, other times I get to enjoy two very different ways of life that are as fascinating as each… Continue reading Week 3: Family
Last week I had the absolute pleasure of sharing the joy and love of a wedding. The bride was a good friend on the same course as me and the couple were two of the most the most God-fearing, vibrant, conscientious, lovely people I can think of. An unbelievable proportion of decorations, dresses, and cakes… Continue reading Flake
Frankly, I wasn’t too aware of what Scouts are about until my boyfriend (let us call him Chris) essentially roped me into it a few months ago. Somehow I’d managed to miss it through my childhood (despite the movement being apparently rather big where I was born) and now I sort of act as an… Continue reading Be prepared…
Whoa, talk about starting this gratitude challenge at the deep end. On a serious note, I am incredibly lucky to stumble across my best-friend/partner hybrid. We were very close friends before we dated so we skipped over the whole awkward-first-stage-of-dating bit. Thank goodness. I’m awkward enough as it is… What can I say about him?… Continue reading Week 2: Spouse or significant other
Recently I was made aware that quite a few of my Asian-born-and-raised extended family have been giving my parents a hard time cause, in their eyes, my parents “failed to raise their daughter properly”. Their sin? Allowing said daughter to break off a relationship. Now, I know that sounds silly. For everyone who aren’t aware… Continue reading A clash of cultures
A few days ago I stumbled across this awesome TED Talk on the subject of addiction. Here, Johann Hari spoke about his personal journey to uncover the roots of addiction, having experienced close family members’ struggles with it.
“… The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection.”
– Johann Hari
Give it a listen if you’ve got a spare fifteen minutes, but his main message is clear. Addictions arise when we don’t have “bonds and connections that [we] want to be present for”. When we can’t “bear to be present in our lives”. And, ultimately, the way that we deal with people with addictions is inherently faulty: we threaten to take away the very connections that people with addictions want to be present for. We imprison them. We fine them. We stamp them with criminal records: we essentially barricade their way to jobs, security and social acceptance.
Perhaps it’s time that we sing them a love song instead of a battle song. Perhaps it’s time to, as Hari suggests, say “you’re not alone, we love you”. “Because the opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection.”